Third Thoughts

New Blog

2009-09-24T09:27:00.001-07:00

My brother reminded me last week that I haven't been posting to this site. True, true. Please visit my new and improved blog!

http://thirdthought.com/

The Prime of Miss Maggie

2009-04-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

Last week I heard about the search for the largest known Mersenne prime number. If you remember from elementary school: a number is called a prime number if 'its only positive divisors' are one and itself. The website goes on to tell us that: 'On September 6th, the 46th known Mersenne prime, 2^37,156,667-1, a 11,185,272 digit number was found by Hans-Michael Elvenich in Langenfeld near Cologne, Germany!'

Pretty exciting stuff, eh? Actually, it makes my head hurt. But I like the idea of a prime number....say, like, 53. Because that's how old I am! Today!

I am in my Prime.

Like carefully pampered wine, aged in oak barrels I like to imagine that I am Amusing and Mellow, Elegantly Authentic (see Easy Wine Descriptors for more of that).

My life is blessed. So very much for which to be grateful. Thank you to all of the lovely (and even the not-so-lovely) people who helped me get here.

love, the Birthday Girl

February 2009

2009-03-01T09:18:00.001-08:00

Whoosh! That went quickly! Although on some of the recent snowy days I was feeling quite ready for winter to be done. All in all it was a busy month....some work...lots of fun.

Visits from Lovely Young Relatives At the end of January my cousin's daughter, Leonie came to visit us for a few weeks. She is nearly finished with a 7-8 month around the world trip. Plucky girl, n'est-ce pas? She enjoyed having some privacy and her own bathroom for a time ;) Right about now she will be returning to her home IN The Netherlands.
Last week, Niece Laura came for a visit. She and I visited the spa one afternoon (someone had to take her, right?) and then we capped off the week with a few days in Victoria, BC.

Palmer House The heavy-duty work is complete and now our contractor is finishing the little bits. I promise pictures soon! Now, we are onto decorating and savoring life in this old beauty.

Get A Life
Early in the month I marched my first parade with the Band. Here's a clip:
At 25 seconds I come into the picture--middle dancer, 3rd row. I cannot describe the rush of marching down the street with hundreds of parade-goers clapping and yelling. SO MUCH FUN! Can't wait for the next Parade. You can check out the 2009 schedule here.

Wishing you a Fabulous March!

Our Fathers

2009-02-23T06:50:00.000-08:00

Today would have been our Dad's birthday. And in my e-mail I received this touching note from beloved Cousin Marianne:

Your sweet dad would have turned 80 today, had he still been among us...

On April 1st, my dad would have turned 75. Those are impressive ages and yet, looking around me... you can see quite a number of people that age. It can still make me sad and happy at the same time, to realize how much they would have enjoyed being a witness of ongoing developments. To see the grandchildren grow up... and even the great-grandchildren with Ray and Eva... they would have been so proud and thrilled and grateful. Knowing that deep within our hearts, they can still be a source of inspiration for us as their offspring and guide us through our lives.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you Marianne.

Miss you Dad.

52 Letters

2009-01-03T14:37:00.000-08:00

I've launched a new blog.

Please come and visit: http://52lettersproject.blogspot.com/

Head Shot

2008-12-31T11:55:00.000-08:00

Sigh. It's time. Time to update my head shot. I absolutely loved my previous head shot done by the excellent Steve Cridland. But that was 15 years and many more pounds ago. It's time to be me--the 52 year-old me.

I worked with John Klicker (yes, that's his name!) who, with his wife, Julie Keefe, has a studio in a wonderful old warehouse not from from us. John made me very comfortable and gave me a ton of choices. After careful conferring with my people I've boiled it down to these three. I worry that the updo may be too, um, candidate-like and my hair in the other is pretty big. That said, which one says "Maggie"? Which one says, "I am easy to work with, have a good sense of humor and excellent coaching skills; I'm intelligent and professional but friendly and warm." Or is that expecting too much from a picture?

At any rate, my brother, Ray, can't tease me about doing the head tilt in these poses ;).

Art Show!

2008-11-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

For the past four years I've been a member of the Portland Art Collective. Thanks to this wonderfully supportive, creative and funny group I've actually been developing some new skills in art and craft. Fortunately, there are some REAL artists in the group.

This year I'm participating in the second annual art show (jewelry) and, if you are in the area, I hope you can drop by!

Two days only!

Friday, December 5, 11:00 - 8:00
Saturday December 6, 11:00 - 5:00

Multnomah Arts Center
7688 SW Capitol Hwy., Portland

Collage, fiber, glass, jewelry, paintings, and more by twenty regional artists - some featured in national publications. Many original gifts for under $20.

www.portlandartcollective.com

The Audacity of Hope

2008-11-05T04:55:00.000-08:00

I have not yet read Obama's book but this morning I feel really happy and hopeful again. The election four years ago was SO disheartening. I couldn't understand how Bush was RE-elected. The country felt sad.

Today the country feels happy. Last night spontaneous celebrations happened all over America. My son wrote that fireworks were popping in Portland. We walked past Times Square where people were cheering.

But it's not just America. This morning I had an email from my cousin in the Netherlands who wrote:

Well, when I woke up this morning I immediately thought of you and my other American Kolkena relatives! BARACK FOR PRESIDENT!! Im sooo happy that he got elected, as are all the other Dutch people. We so love him and his ideas. I hope he'll keep his word and applies the changes he presumes to carry out. But I really trust him and have the feeling that happy and good times will come for America!

This will be a major shift in America and the world.

WAHOO!!!!

American History

2008-11-04T19:26:00.001-08:00

We are in NYC for a few days and tonight we are watching history emerging. McCain campaigners 'cannot see a way' for him to win. Barack Obama WILL BE our next President. HALLELUJAH!!

This afternoon I took a Big Onion walking tour called "Revolutionary New York". For two hours I listened to a tour guide (with a PhD!) tell stories about the early years of our country. (The astute observer will notice Trinity Church in the background...key site in one of my favorite movies, National Treasure). By the end of the tour we had walked the distance of the town of New York in those Revolutionary years, when 30,000 to 40,000 settlers lived here. Absolutely fascinating.

We stopped at the site of the Federal Hall National Monument.

This is where George Washington was inaugurated as our First President. Not our King. A new model that still stands.

And, honestly, it was really inspiring to be here on Election Day. A day when so many people cared about the outcome that a 68% turnout is expected.

God Bless America. indeed. And God bless Obama. He is going to be good for our country and our world.

Palmer House Debut

2008-11-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

Wow! Halloween is FUN!

Our new home is a haunted mansion so we decided to try for an elegant, Victorian decor a la Edward Gorey. We also relied on the expertise of Jeff, talented scenic designer, and son Matt, newly minted B. Arch.
Here's me with the spooky lady on the porch.

The upper balcony had very fine ravens....('Nevermore....')

Scotty carved large pumpkins.
Ghosts ran through the front yard.

Fog machines and scary sounds and music added to the overall spookiness.

We had between 160 and 180 visitors (Susan counted).
Friends Scotty, Michele and June came to join the fun and we all took turns handing out candy, restraining our fierce Golden Retriever from assaulting small children with exuberant affection and mixing the party beverages. A jolly time was had by all.

This morning we began talking about the Yule decorations...

Lost Weekend

2008-08-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

I spent far too much time sitting around this weekend. Partially, I was justified: had a small biopsy at Dr. Adler's office (just being thorough) and Susan plied me with delicious Atavin to lessen the sting. So, it was a lost weekend. Although I DID spend a lot of time on my computer...

Lately, I've become a Facebook member and there is SO MUCH FUN to be had playing Scrabble, listing places you've been in the world, listing your heritage....many hours to be spent there in faux productivity.

Then I joined a new site to keep track of books I've read and books I want to read: http://www.goodreads.com/

Then Janet sent me this great link: http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/aaSEeaDrnfV3RLOu#/view/vkzE8vY0kUS8smec
Pretty funny stuff.

Still, I think I'll get out of the house today and walk or something.

The New Bathroom

2008-08-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

When we moved into this venerable home, a former B&B, we found just two bathrooms. Not enough for our mission. Susan had the bright idea to transform the sun porch into our master bath. I think it was a totally unexpected and brilliant plan.

The metaphor is Turkish Bath. I was especially inspired by this CGI rendering of the Titanic Turkish Bath by Parks Stephenson.
So, it turns out that Turkish tile is rather difficult to come by. At last I found enough in New Jersey and two weeks later 600 pounds of 8x8 squares arrived. We chose another tile for the floor. I worried that it all might be too much and consulted with a designer at Anne Sacks Tile. She reassured me that it would not be too much. "That's what makes it a Turkish bath."

The walls were opened in order to update the plumbing.
The walls were insulated--the most we could do because changing out the windows is a nightmare in a house listed on the historical register (I'll think about that tomorrow).

Then there was the concern about how much weight the porch could support. Better reinforce from below. This is the downstairs bathroom with a new ceiling.
OK. Let's get that tub upstairs. Hmmmm.....

We picked out a gorgeous new clawfoot tub at Rejuvenation but it was a little too big to get up the stairs. Doh! Zien, not to be deterred, engineered another approach.
He set up a system propelled by footpower pumping. Slowly they climbed....
and climbed....

...and climbed......and climbed until they reached the window.
Whew!
The room is coming along nicely now. The tub is in the closet awaiting final placement. The last of the tiles will go up next week. This is what the room looks like today.
Can't you just feel the breeze and smell the rose water?

Progress!

2008-08-14T10:23:00.001-07:00

We are so close to having our new kitchen and bathroom--I can hardly keep from clapping. For months the remodel has been invisible: rewiring the entire house, replumbing the entire house, stabilizing the foundation with new concrete and pillars. Not very sexy stuff but quite vital. At last we are now at the point where the work is yielding real rooms.

The Kitchen
A perfectly nice kitchen in 1970 became a pretty tired kitchen by the time we bought the house. That's a steel restaurant table in the foreground. So it was completely torn out and redesigned.
For a long time it sat empty. Then, little by little it started to look like a room. The dry wall was finished and the cabinet bases came in. The walls were painted. After a careful fitting the cabinet doors and drawers went off to the shop for painting and the fasteners were carefully marked. Then the kitchen was sealed like something out of the Andromeda Strain... and the cabinets were primed and painted. Last week some of the appliances were set in and yesterday (cue: heavenly choral voices) the cabinet doors were installed.
Right now I am going to pick up the faucets and, with luck, we'll have a working sink before the the Summer Party for Susan's office begins at 4:00. Just a little gathering of 75 of our colleagues!

Over-the-Top

2008-07-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since I've posted. I guess that means we're having fun!

We moved into the upstairs rooms at the beginning of July and we absolutely LOVE living here. Mississippi Avenue has a great vibe and lots of yummy places to eat and quirky places to shop. Our neighbors are swell--really, really great. Tally is in love with George, father of Baby Hazel. Tally escaped one morning and she found George, who gave her a second breakfast before realizing that this dog belonged to the new neighbors. He walked Tally back and we had a nice visit.

The bathroom doors have locks now so we have some privacy again (although as I write we have two painters in the kitchen, a Comcast guy on the pole outside and four of Ziens' team working in the attic and bathroom).

JPH looks like a real home now--a really disorganized and torn-up home. The kitchen cabinets are in and mostly painted. I can hardly stand how excited I am to have a kitchen again. Next week we should be able to install appliances.

The upstairs bathroom is fully plumbed (have I mentioned that the whole house has been re-plumbed?) and yesterday they began to lay the floor tile. Our concept is 'Turkish Bath' and we've picked out three different tiles. This tile actually does come from Turkey and it will be the wainscoting under the windows all around the room. Very opulent and over the top--just like the wallpaper.

All in all it's a jolly time for us. Summer in our new garden is a blessing and we're really enjoying the evenings.

Tomorrow we're off to Wyoming for a family reunion. Yippee!

Busting Buttons

2008-06-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Matthew is a college graduate!

Yesterday we attended the ceremony where he received his Bachelors degree in Architecture. Do his mom and dad look proud? The degree was uber demanding. Cousin Collette, the doctor, said that the med students and the architecture students were always the students who had no time for fun. Matt decided a few years ago to do the degree in four years instead of five so he really hasn't had much down time. Here he is showing his work to his very proud Grandma.
And here are my happy young people.
Congratulations Matt!!!! We are busting with pride.

WHOOSH

2008-05-21T09:05:00.001-07:00

I'm living life in the fast lane right now. The house is still pretty chaotic so we continue to live in a local hotel. Alas, last week a Quilting convention attracted a lot of attendees and we were kicked out of our hotel...and took refuge at the Oxford Suites in Gladstone. I'd like to whine but I only need to read the newspaper to remember how lucky I am to have options for a safe place to stay. God bless the people in China and Myanmar.

We had a GREAT weekend. My brother, Roger, and sis-in-law, Rachel, visited after Roger attended some training in Tacoma. They are living in Anchorage, Alaska now (!). It was so good to see them. And, extra bonus, their son, Daniel is living in the Portland area for his new job. One of the most important events of the weekend was visiting the Dutch Store where they could load up on Old Amsterdam cheese and Indonesian spices. We got all nostalgic being around our childhood treats and talking with the owners, Hans and Lia. They were lovely hosts and offered us a cup of coffee with cookies--traditional Dutch hospitality.We also called Ray and Eva in Germany. Gotta love a speaker phone (although the other customers may not have loved it).We reluctantly said farewell-for-now to them and drove off to Eugene to celebrate Clinton's graduation from law school. He is the son of my BFF and this was a happy, happy occasion. Way to go Clinton!

On the way back into Portland we saw the throngs at the Obama rally. Portland loves Obama!

i'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

2008-05-11T11:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I don't know, you just want to shake it up a little. So when I saw my hairdresser two weeks ago for regular upkeep (don't tell anyone but I'm getting quite grey!) I noticed one of her colleagues with a little fringe of green hair.

I think it should be fun to play with hair. But after last year's fiasco of bleached, pink, dark brown, and de-colored damage I was left with no option but to cut my hair off and start over. My over processed hair is gone. So, now I have short hair and I, honestly, don't know how to work with it. So, when I saw the green hair I was inspired. Nothing permanent. Just gaily-colored extensions.

I went back a week later and she added a some subtle strands of dark blue hair. Just for fun. To match my eyes. I don't think I'll keep them for a long time because extensions make your head ache where they pull but they are an amusing distraction. You can also see in this picture that my surgery scar is healing nicely. God bless Dr. Kao.

And God Bless all the mothers. Happy Mother's Day!

Uncle!

2008-05-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

The Pitch: A professional couple decides to buy an historic home. Wackiness quickly ensues.

Scene One: Swept up with emotion they sell both their homes and move into the basement where they can create a little studio-style apartment. The first night they buy take-out and toast their dreams.

Scene Two: Our optimistic homeowners are coughing from the century-old dust kicked up from the kitchen demolition.

Scene Three: Client work is harder to complete because the rewiring of the entire home has necessitated cutting power to the computer and printer.

Scene Four: The family dog escapes repeatedly because there are many doors and the dog is curious. One day Poochy comes home smelling absolutely foul (cue laugh track) necessitating a rushed trip to the doggie wash. Later that evening Poochy has a face-to-face with a possum.

Scene Five: Taking a bath (no showers possible in the Victorian bathroom) has ceased to be a pleasure. Dust coats the tub daily and the bathroom is shared with five workmen. The doors no longer lock because the floor needs to be raised in the center of the house and the door frames don't match the walls. Hygiene levels drop as baths are missed because workers arrive before baths are taken. Singing in the bathroom has become a new habit lest someone walk in.

Funny stuff, huh? And it really IS pretty funny. Still, I've been missing my privacy and clean air and productivity. So, after five weeks of living in the basement we've taken a break. We're staying at the Residence Inn for 10 days until the worst of the remodel is over.

Meanwhile, I am thanking my lucky stars for our contractor, Zien. He feels TERRIBLE when they make a mess and I have to remind him that we invited them in. He's so conscientious and sweeps up every evening. He cares for us and our home like we were his big sisters. He's thought ahead and is doing what needs to be done. He even brings us food! Delicious Viet Namese food--yhum!

There's some scope-creep and the timeline is slipping further out. Oh, and the budget is expanding. Yeah. Welcome to remodeling, right?

All of this is an opportunity to practice patience. To accept that things are (waaaay) beyond my control. And, I like to think that by September, as we sit in our lovely new kitchen, shower in our fabulous new bathroom and sleep in our lovely new bedroom this time will be but a dim memory.

Sort of like remembering labor when you're rocking your baby.

Glorious Destruction

2008-04-13T20:36:00.001-07:00

We've been in our new home for two weeks today and in that short time several rooms in the house are down to studs.

The kitchen remodel got a little more interesting last week when Zien (our fabulous contractor) found that the house sagged almost three full inches from the outside to the middle. Yikes. The choice was to raise the 'spine' of the house and risk the wallpaper cracking. Three inches seemed like a lot to me so the contraptions are in the basement to raise the floor a tiny bit every day. When they turn the gear the house makes little cracking sounds. Eerie. Alas, the wallpaper in the future library is cracking some but I think it will be OK because we plan to put bookshelves in there.

A word about the wallpaper, put in with love by the family that lavished love on the house for three decades beginning in 1968. It's extremely special paper designed by Bradbury and Bradbury. The paper is completely over the top and deliciously gaudy. I have no idea how to decorate in harmony with such a busy backdrop. However, I don't need to worry about the cosmetics of decorating for a while. First we need to repair the bones. Make-up will be applied later.

The house has all sorts of surprises that are being slowly revealed. We've learned that the house was moved back from the street at one point--the entire house. Amazing. We've learned that previous plumbers cut out important supports to bring in pipes and that if more than ten people stand in the bedroom above the back door entry the floor would likely fall through.

When a house is almost 120 years old a lot of wacky stuff happens. It's rather like living in our archeological dig!

We're In!

2008-04-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

We are spending our first week in our new home. In my usual impatient fashion I've made the week more 'interesting' by trying to do everything at once. But I'll get to that in a minute.

First, don't ever move if you can help it. And if you need to move, do it before you're 50 years old. Sunday was our move day and we sensibly hired professional movers. But, you know, there's still a lot of stuff they can't do. After the first load arrived at the new house I stayed here to organize the Incoming. Susan stayed at Humboldt to organize Outgoing and complete the shut-down. From 6:30 am to 10 pm we moved. We went out for a late dinner and walked out of the restaurant slightly bent over. Truly, we shuffled along like our 85-year-old friend. Funny, yet painful.

Monday morning the landscaping crew, the kitchen demolition team and the floor refinishing teams all arrived. Very exciting.

Here's 'Demolished Kitchen with Golden Retriever'.

And some of the original knob and tube wiring.

This morning we layered on even more excitement when the very elaborate alarm system went off. We think it was the dust from the sanding of the floors upstairs. The former owners did request to have it disarmed but that can take 30 days (?) and ADT wouldn't do anything for us without the secret password (grrrr). Finally, our contractor took it apart at the power source. Thank goodness he was here. The dispatcher at 911 sounded only a little annoyed. Truly, this alarm system covered the neighborhood with noise. Sorry Everyone!

We're living in the basement which is organized like a little studio apartment (without a bathroom or a kitchen and a corridor of boxes outside the front door). It's not so bad. We're pretending we're on some weird kind of road trip. And our destination is far, far away so we keep complimenting one another on how well we're managing the chaos. It is, after all, self-generated. I'm just eager to get the house ready for prime-time so that we can welcome our first guests and schedule our first benefit!

Home Ownership

2008-03-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

Buying a home is such a nutty process. I've dithered more over a new coat. And at least I can try on a coat as many times as I want. I can even return it if I bought it at Nordstrom's. Not so with a new home.

Buying a home is a leap of faith. You might see it twice before you offer thousands of dollars to the Seller. And then you offer more when the Seller counters and hints at other parties who are looking at the house. Little by little you become embroiled in the process and it's increasingly difficult to extract yourself. Sure, there are all kinds of data to either support or negate your initial impulse. The home inspection tells you a lot--more than you really want to know because now you're in love with the dream of owning THIS HOUSE. You've locked in a good interest rate. The neighborhood is thriving. The appraisal tells you you're in the right ballpark, price wise.

We had a couple of weeks of difficult discussions and decisions when our Seller pulled some shenanigans and we almost walked away from the deal. But then we decided that our dreams are worth a lot. We want to get on with our dreams, not wait for the next deal. This is the right house and this is the right time. And, now, the John Palmer house is OUR house.

(photo by daughter, Lizzie)

And here are our dreams for the house:
1) It is our home. We are going to carve out a Master suite on the south-facing side of the second floor and add a third bathroom (that's right, this big ol' house has two bathrooms right now)
2) We will open it to not-for-profits for fund-raising efforts. We are remodeling the kitchen right away (because it's caught in 1969) and plan for the first floor to be more of a public space.
3) We will open three bedrooms (this fall) as a place for out-of-town patients to stay when they are receiving chemotherapy or similar treatment. We are not nurses and we have no plans to provide hands-on care. Rather, we've become aware that there's a gap in the system (what's that you say? A gap in America's health care system?!). Sometimes folks come to town from outside Portland and then have to stay at a hotel or have a long drive home. No one should have to stay at Motel 6 after chemotherapy. We are considering attaching ourselves to another not-for-profit if that makes sense.
4) All the fix-ups and maintenance are going to cost a lot so we're considering making some income on the house. At one point the home was available for weddings and we may do that again. We love weddings!
5) Finally, this is the new version of our 'compound' dream (e.g. the Kennedy compound). This will be a place where our clan can gather and celebrate. Our first gathering will be to celebrate Matt's graduation with his architecture degree in June.

I've just come from the house. It's in complete transition because our excellent contractor, William, has taken up all the old carpets. There's primer on the walls of my future studio/office and we're poised to begin the demolition of the current kitchen. The scale of the mess is formidable.

But from the corner of my eye, I can just about see the future of our home...clean and furnished, warm and welcoming. It's a wonderful picture.

Tiny Stitches

2008-03-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

I met my new cute dermatology surgeon, Dr. Kao, last week when I came in for the first day of my melanoma removal surgery. Imagine my pleasure when his nurse noted that he's a real perfectionist. I love that in a surgeon! He did his work last Monday and Tuesday and I was sent home with a big, white bandage and a prescription for Vicodin. Don't ask me about anything that happened last Monday-Thursday. I was asleep or dully staring at daytime TV, trying to fit a spoon into my swollen mouth.

We estimated that I had between 40 and 50 tiny, tiny stitches on my upper lip. The whole process was a little more involved than I'd anticipated but the stitches came out on St. Patrick's Day and things look good--pretty darn close to the former me. My BFF and talented aromatherapist, Janet, has given me a blend to reduce scarring and promote healing so I anticipate normalcy soon. The best news is that the melanoma is GONE.

But this was just one element in a crazy couple of weeks. Between buying, repairing and selling homes we've had far too much to keep track of. We've already initiated the kitchen remodel of Palmer House and last night we finally picked up the keys to the new castle. Upon closer examination, we saw that the carpet is kind of gnarly and old (40 years old?). So today we decided it needs to come out and we're going to try and get the fir floors semi-finished before we move in.

The adventure has begun.

My Left Mustache

2008-03-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

My parents are from the very northern part of The Netherlands and we are a rather pale and hairless people. The men in my family do not have hairy chests (nor hairy backs, whew!) and I have been fortunate in not having to pluck nor depilitate my face.

Recently, I began to notice a bit of a beauty mark on my face. I thought it was interesting. My best friend, ever practical, said I should get a dermatologist to look at it. After many weeks I saw my really cute dermatologist, just older than my son I think. He held me under a big light for a while and decided to do a biopsy. Boom, on my back with a needle going in my face (OW!). The next week I returned to have my stitches removed. Ho hum.

Well, don't I just have a 'melanoma in situ' which means it's on the surface and (whew again) not in my lymph system. My cute dermatologist referred me to a surgeon who specializes in Moh's surgery. He said to tell the new doc that it is 'melanoma in-situ at the left mustache'. MUSTACHE?! OK then.

I need to have it re-excised which means the needle in the face again--OW. But this time I will be relaxed with some vicodin or some other helpful pharmaceutical.

So I'm not thrilled about having surgery right there on the front of my face. I really thought that when I had facial surgery it would be for an eye job. And I am also thankful for modern medicine. Fact is, I already have two big scars below my mouth (my left beard?) and I am approaching age 52. It's not as though I'll be losing my big modeling contract with Cover Girl.

The only niggling concern is that the surgery will take away part of my left mustache and lift my left lip creating a kind of permanent Elvis sneer. Please keep me in your prayers on March10th & 11th so that the surgery is a breeze and I'll still smile like Maggie.

Making Time for Art

2008-02-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

There is a book on my shelf called "Making Time for Art". I haven't finished it (no time!) but I have admired the problem. I spent much of last year making my studio, formerly known as the office, ready for creativity. It looks quite nice and the stage is set for making art. OK. Ready? Ready? The reality is that I need a purpose or deadline for making art. Don't know why. I suspect that as much as I enjoy exercising my creativity I'm not a true artist who CRAVES making art, who MUST make art. And that's OK. Because I am still making time for art when I have a good reason.

For a special Christmas gift I made a set of Meditation Beads. I grew up praying the rosary and I've always loved the notion of praying with beautiful beads in my hand. I still remember the filigree rosary my Oma gave to me when I was young. It was exquisite and I took such joy in fingering the beads while chanting the prayers in my head (I was a very devout child). Anyway, my beliefs have expanded--I call it partaking of the religious banquet--and I wanted to make something more general. Here is my prototype. Each bead symbolizes an intention.

I also knitted another red scarf for the the Red Scarf project. So that means I've completed two knitting projects and I can check that off the 101 in 1001 list. The key word is: completed. While I was getting Humboldt house ready for the Open House I must have packed away another four unfinished projects. Doh! Shopping for yarn and patterns is so much fun!

Hello and Goodbye

2008-02-12T08:15:00.000-08:00

The new year took an unexpected turn a couple of weeks ago. We were driving home and stopped at a coffee shop on Albina on the way home. We noticed that the John Palmer house was for sale. Over dinner that night we talked about what we could do with a house like that. Well, from our imaginations to reality. On March 14th we close and we will be the new owners of a stunning Victorian home. We have VERY exciting plans for the new adventure.

So that meant we needed to sell Humboldt house. For a couple of weeks I tidied and organized (whew!) and last Sunday we had an Open House. That evening we had two excellent offers (what recession?!) and we'll be moving the last week in March.

It will be difficult to leave our home--we've been very happy here. But I know the new family will bring new life to the house so that's nice. And we have lots of dreams for our new home.

Stay tuned!

Happy 2008

2008-01-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

What a lovely entry to the new year we've enjoyed.

First, we had a sane Christmas. No stress, no overwhelm, no regrets...just time and togetherness with our clan and on our own. It even SNOWED on Christmas morning!

The house was soooo cozy, snug and, well, almost Dickensian. This year ALL the ornaments went on the tree (with a lot of help from my son) and the windows were bedecked with garland. Every morning I loved sitting on the couch and drinking coffee beside the holiday glow.

On New Year's Eve we attended a 'burning bowl' service at Unity Church. We reflected on the past year and created positive intentions for the new year. The mother-daughter team of ministers are such gifted speakers and it was a really thoughtful way to welcome 2008.

On New Years Day we wrote goals over coffee and then folded in a bubble bottle of Veuve-Cliquot. Deelish. We savored it because we're going alcohol-free for the remainder of the month as a kick-start to our health goals.

And then it felt good to sweep the floors (and sweep and sweep the pine needles) and put away the holidays. Now the house is tidy and spare. On Monday I begin working toward my goals with new energy, confidence and gratitude.

May 2008 be a year of greater peace and abundance for you, yours, and the world.

Hey, what about that Art Show?

2007-12-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

A month ago I sent out a big message announcing my participation in the Portland Art Collective Open Doors show (that's my photograph on the 2nd row on the right).

Although I wasn't able to be there in person I WAS represented by my work. Thanks to the efforts of my son and my friends (Tammy, Lorraine and Tori) some of my jewelry was on display.

Here are some of my necklaces hanging from a wire tree. I didn't have a BIG show but I had a GOOD show (84% sold), with most of my work finding new homes. All together the group sold 1,014 items. Yup, a rousing success!
And the show looked pretty. The women in my group transformed a school gym into a delightful gallery in white and silver.

It is such a privilege to belong to this group. Over the past two years I have grown in confidence and ability. I'm not quite calling myself an artist but I am making art...and that feels really good.

Time out of Time

2007-12-13T09:52:00.001-08:00

Unusual and surreal. I've had a lot of those moments in the past two weeks.

The weather in Oregon has been so unusual...hurricane warnings on the north coast, mudslides and balmy weather in the mid 50's.

Susan's mother died last week. Flying into Toronto I felt so aware. I looked out the window at the patchwork of plots and pondered living and dying. Again, I consider what it is important in this tiny life of mine:
1) Live as if I might die tomorrow. It could happen. NOW is the time to live as I mean to live. Today is the day to work toward my dreams.
2) Stay completely current with my relationships. I love so many people and I hope they know it.
3) Be gentle with strangers...they may be coping with a death or illness and can be excused for a lack of focus.
4) Stop finding reasons to be outraged (inspired by Wayne Dyer).
5) Laugh a lot, preferably with others.

We're back in Portland now and deliberately taking it slow. Grieving takes energy and losing one's mother is a great loss. Eventually, everything important will get done.

I haven't done the Christmas decorating but I DID string some cranberries last night. They make a pretty garland above the fireplace.

It's a good time to experience the winter stillness.

Godspeed Mrs. Dunn

2007-12-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

Shirley Messer Dunn
1917-2007

Home, Cold Home

2007-11-25T07:33:00.000-08:00

On Friday evening we strolled in 70-degree weather under a stunning full moon. Saturday we relished the full sun on our faces as we lingered pool side. Last night we had a really efficient flight on Alaska that got us home 30 minutes early. We walked outside at PDX and admired the fresh, crisp air. The beautiful full moon smiled on us.

When we got home the thermostat registered 42-degrees. Brrrr. We cranked on the heat and headed to the garage so we could drive to New Seasons and get milk for our morning coffees. Alas, the car was dead. Nothing. OK. We walked to the Plaid Pantry, not thinking to grab coats. That was a fresh, crisp walk! When we got home the furnace was working really steadily and the thermostat was up to 53-degrees. We watched a little "Deal or No Deal" (one of Susan's favorites--go figure), had a bowl of soup and then went to bed.

Know what's funny? Temper-pedic mattresses get hard in the cold. Over the week it had hardened in the brisk upstairs cold and when we went to bed it was uber-firm. Very funny. Eventually, we got to sleep with the help of heating pads and microwaved flax pillows. And this morning I still got a glimpse of that beautiful full moon. Happy Sunday!

Special Days

2007-11-24T22:56:00.000-08:00

First, happy birthday to my excellent nephews! Patrick had a birthday this week and Alex has a birthday this week. May they both enjoy a satisfying and enjoyable year to come. Second, I hope that everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. I always like this prayer from the old Dear Abby column, which I have paraphrased:

We are thankful for food and remember the hungry.
We are thankful for health and remember the sick.
We are thankful for friends and remember the friendless.
We are thankful for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to serve, that all these gifts may be used for good.

I know that I am incredibly lucky and make sure that I say THANK YOU often. In my entire life I've never enjoyed such abundance. Lucky me.

In fact, we just got back from a sunny and relaxing five days in Palm Springs. One of the coolest things we did was visit the wind farms just north of the city. Acres and acres of windmills, more correctly called wind turbines. We learned a ton and it was amazing to be next to these GIGANTIC machines. And the crews who maintain them are called windsmiths. Nice.

I go to Seattle for another week of work on Monday and then it's all systems go for final preparation for the Portland Art Collective Art show. This is a group I've been with for about two years and we're having our first show on December 7 & 8. A few weeks ago my dining table was Jewelry-Central. I'm showing/selling necklaces, earrings and tinted photographs. It's been good to have a deadline to get me in high production mode. And I think the show is going to be a blast!

Wintering In

2007-10-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

Years go my dear Janet and I attended a 'wintering in' event at an historic house on Sauvie Island. Since then I've loved the concept of getting one's hearth and home ready for the cold season. I was in town the entire month of September and had an ambitious list of home-keeping chores. Susan and I took an at-home WORKING vacation and worked in the garage and basement. Now doesn't that sound like fun? Maybe not fun but certainly satisfying. When we're on the road as much as we are those chores that most people do over a reasonable period of time have to be done in a flurry.

Here is a shot of the winter firewood being delivered.

Oh my...that was a lot of bending and lifting. But here is the result:

A clean garage is beautiful to behold. It was also a WALKING vacation. We walked the Race for the Cure with the PFLAG team:

And we walked the Light the Night walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

It brings tears to my eyes when I see all the families affected by cancer and blood diseases. I've personally lived through too many of those stories and I feel such compassion for everyone fighting for health or living without their loved ones. The walks feel like some small action to make all of our lives easier.

And now October is 2/3 gone. Whoosh! Work is busy this fall--lots of travel. But when I walk Miss Tally-dog I gather the autumn leaves and savor the nostalgia that is autumn.....

Ladies & Gentlement, I give you the Queen...Street

2007-09-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

On my last full day in Toronto I took a photo-walk through my favorite neighborhoods.

Kensington Market is the home of the excellent Lettuce Knit Shop. I spent a happy afternoon chatting with the young lady who was working there (a dancer) and a customer who was a professional violinist. As the violinist said, "Knitters are the nicest people." I agree...right up there with librarians. That's my actual opinion--not dry humor.

This shot of an ATM indicates the diversity in Toronto...

and this shop shows the diversity of the neighborhood :)

Chinatown is just around the corner--a real feast for the eyes. Look how many kinds of dried shrimp you can buy.

But I think my favorite neighborhood is Queen Street. There you will find dozens of textile shops and a few bead shops.

The most exciting and recent addition is Mokuba--a ribbon store. If you go to Toronto you will definitely want to check out the selection at Mokuba. I bought some grosgrain--very practical and some synthetic lambswool trim--irresistible! I think I'll add it to a collar of something this winter.

As I write it is is perfect sunny afternoon in Portland. I know that winter is around the corner but for now I am savoring this time--my favorite season.

Beauty

2007-09-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

This is stunning.

Adventures in Pink

2007-09-04T16:51:00.001-07:00

What a month it's been. August was just toooooo busy!

My brother, Ray, was in a motorcycle accident. It wasn't his fault but that doesn't count for much in the emergency room. His knee is trashed but two weeks and two surgeries later he's home and getting off the pain pills :) In true joie-de-vivre fashion Ray and Eva made lemons out of lemonade. I asked Ray how the food was and he said that Eva had brought antipasto the night before and take-out Chinese for dinner that day. Additionally, she bought a large-screen TV and had it delivered to his hospital room. Even in the hospital they became Party Central. I LOVE that about them!

The month also included a quick visit from my nephews, Daniel and Alex, on their journey back to school at BYU. Alex got back from a mission in Uruguay in June and I hadn't seen him for over two years. It was great to see both of them and we had a really yummy dinner with Matt. See a family resemblance?

I worked two weeks in a row in New Jersey, which doesn't sound that pleasant....but it was! Near the hotel during the second week I could walk the grounds of Fairleigh-Dickinson college. It was once the estate of Vanderbilt's grandaughter and the grounds were designed by Olmstead who designed Central Park in NYC. I walked miles in the area...which was very enjoyable, indeed.

Much of the focus was on the Pink Party. I'd been making lists of ideas for months but when the big day arrived we were caught short when our bartender and server failed to show. Thankfully, our friends are tres faboo and pitched in to ensure no one went thirsty or hungry. We have very jolly friends and when Tim brought the balloons things really got fun! See all our friends in pink at the Evite album. Even little Isaac (Cousin Collette & Steven's son) wore pink.

I'd been thinking I wanted a little soft pink in my hair, just to be celebratory, and...er...ended up with MAGENTA hair against a dark brown background. Whoa. I hadn't had hair that wrong for a long time. Friends were gentle ("I like the pink....but I miss your red hair") but daughter Lizzie was candid ('What's this?"). The next week I spent three hours on a repair job. I won't be doing that again. I like to costume but that was too far!

So, all in all, a fun and hectic month. And now we're past Labor Day and I'm in my favorite season. It's Back-to-School time and I've already been to Office Max to get new markers, pens and a white board. Let the Order and Productivity commence!

Toronto for Travelers

2007-07-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

They say that you don't really see a city until a visitor comes to town and you take them to see the sights. Matt and Lizzie, my beloved offspring, visited Toronto last week and we saw a LOT of sights!

The visit began with me getting whomped in Scrabble by my Lizzie. I never thought I was a poor player but she, having traveled through the night on the Red Eye, trounced my sorry butt.

I couldn't be prouder.

On one of our first days we took ourselves on a walking tour of downtown. Here is a dramatic shot (by Matt) of one of the skyscrapers. Peter Ustinov once referred to Toronto as "New York run by the Swiss". It is certainly international. 49% of the population was born outside of Canada. Immigrants are seen as a strength of the city. Sigh. What a contrast to our America (which is, oh yes, a nation of immigrants as well). But I digress.

Here we are dipping our toes in the frosty waters of Lake Ontario. The area is called The Beaches, which is accurate in that it is on the waterfront..but not very sandy. Still, incredibly, the water is icy clear.

Matt loves history and we spent an enjoyable morning at Fort York. It's such fun to hear the stories from the Commonwealth POV.

One evening we took a walking 'Ghost Tour'. Our guide was outstanding and we saw historic sights and heard the historical stories. The University of Toronto campus is filled with venerable buildings and halls that look like Hogwarts.

The tour began at the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) which just celebrated the opening of an expansion by Daniel Libeskind. It's wonderful weird and innovative (photo by Lizzie).

Not once did we use the car. We walked or bought day passes for the mass transit. The subways are clean and simple. The streetcars look like a holdover from another era. Toronto is an easy city to navigate.

Both Lizzie and Matt are wonderfully curious and energetic travelers. They are also 25 years younger than me. Our housemate, Scotty, noticed that I looked quited tired by the end of the visit.

Excellent.

That must mean we had a good time.

Happy Holiday!

2007-07-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July to all my American friends and family. I am celebrating the day in my own way here in Canada with my traditional flag-themed garb and (we hope) some sparklers. They should be on clearance after Canada Day :)

It's been a really rich time for me. Last week we flew to Quebec City, one of the oldest sttlements in North America. The spectacular Hotel Frontenac sits atop the city, which is divided into the upper city (where the wealthy and clergy lived) and the lower city (where the workers lived along the Lawrence River). We took a ferry ride across the river for some lovely views of the city. It's a charming and accessible city.

After a short visit we took a dinner train to Montreal to meet with niece Heather. We stayed in Vieux Montreal (Old Town), again, near the water. And just two blocks from, perhaps, the prettiest cathedral I've ever visited. The Notre Dame Basilica has a deep blue ceiling with little gold stars, tres French.

I LOVED being in Quebec province. It was delightful to practice my rusty French with anyone who would let me. It's like being in France but with a veneer of the Canadian humanity and respect.

From Montreal we flew to New York City for a few days of work. Whew! Welcome to the Big Apple--what a contrast to gracious Quebec! I always feel amped up in NYC. I just love wandering the streets without a plan. For instance, I happened upon an exquisite Japanese Bakery.

For the first time I rode the Staten Island Ferry. Lady Liberty never fails to inspire--I remember my parents describing arriving in America from The Netherlands.

So, here's to all of us, immigrants to the New Country. May we continue to be pioneers in our own small ways.

God bless America.

You CAN Go Home Again

2007-06-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Contrary to what Thomas Wolfe says, you can go home again. Especially if you have two homes. This summer we are taking a Toronto Sojourn. It is an experiment in bi-coastal living. For years we have thought we'd settle in British Columbia at some point because it was the best of both our worlds: Pacific Northwest AND Canada. But now that I'm older and wiser I'm rethinking all of that. We've both spent years building our lives in our respective homes. Our family and friends are mostly in Portland and Toronto. So, why would we move to a third place where we don't know anyone? I don't think we would! Hence, the Toronto Sojourn.

We've been in Toronto since late May. Last week I returned to the Northwest for some work and dropped down to Portland for some daughter & BFF time. This is what greeted me when I came in! My sweet Lizzie made a welcome sign. What a cutie she is. I had a fabulous weekend with Lizzie and Janet and Tim and I'm all topped up on Portland love.

So, I wholly embrace 'both/and' thinking (vs. either/or choices).

In the memorable words of Queen, "I want it all, and I want it now". :)

Traveling the Heartland

2007-05-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

Imagine this: HALF the bread in America is made from wheat from Kansas. Yup, this is the proverbial breadbasket of the country. Unfortunately, the weather hasn't been so good for the farmers lately. You know about the tornado but flooding has also been a problem. Those are the tops of fenceposts.

Yesterday, we drove from Kansas, through part of Nebraska. It is my practice to drive about 9 miles over the freeway speed limit. As I crested a hill I saw the highway patrol car waiting for the speeders. Wups. I wasn't going fast enough for him to actually leave his spot but he did stick his arm out and motion for me to slow down. Sorry, Officer.

For me, the nicest part of the driving day is the late afternoon when the shadows are dramatic on the rolling hills. As we entered Iowa saw farming that I've not seen before. The hills are terraced (sort of like vineyards) and the vertical sides are faced with grass. At this time of year, before the corn is planted, there is a fascinating pattern revealed, based on the contour of each hill. The newly planted brown fields contrast with the green grass. Just beautiful. And so tidy.

Opa Arnold would have approved.

Road Trip, continued

2007-05-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Great Bend, Kansas!

So, my last post dissed Salt Lake City and I need to add a positive walking story. North of downtown is a beautiful place called Memory Park, dedicated to fallen soldiers. When I was a teen-ager we called it Memory Grove and it was the local Lovers Lane. I was a bit of a dork (although I thought I was pretty cool) so I only went there once. Anyway, the city has added an off-leash trail (Freedom Trail) which parallels the little mountain stream. Very refreshing. So, kudos SLC!

And kudos to the Hotel Monaco and Bambara restaurant. We spent several happy hours there including...1) drinks with Lisa--I babysat her as a girl and she's turned into a really cool woman! and 2) dinner with Patty and Lindsay--I went to high school with Patty and she remains an awesome friend along with Lindsay, her most excellent husband. As I get older the long-term friends are increasingly enjoyable. How great to still be connected.

From Salt Lake City we drove to Colorado Springs. Unfortunately, the drive across Wyoming was a hot one. The temperature was high AND our radiator fan was malfunctioning. We drove with the defrost on warm to keep the engine from overheating. Mmmmmm, toasty. By the time we reached Denver the engine couldn't bear it anymore and we were towed to our hotel in Colorado Springs. James, our excellent tow-truck driver, was a dog lover, fortunately, and we all had a cozy drive in the cab with Tally on our laps. She loved it. We promised ourselves that this would make a good story some day.

Despite the little hiccup we are having a fabulous time. And we get reminders of how incredibly fortunate we are. Yesterday we drove across Kansas. Yes, it is flat. Very flat. Or, as the locals prefer, 'level'.

At one point I walked a short distance to observe some remaining wagon wheel ruts from the old Santa Fe Trail. They are best perceived when the shadows are long in the late afternoon. The tracks are very subtle, but if you stand very still and allow your imagination to wander you can see the ruts and picture the traders and settlers slowly making their way across the prairie.

Later in the day we stopped at Kinsley, Kansas which is the middle of the country. As we wandered the tiny town we met a couple who were staying at the local motel because their home in Greensburg had been destroyed in the tornado. They were making new plans and they were grateful to be alive. Life on the prairie can still be hard.

Travels with Tally

2007-05-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

Traveling with a dog is very different from traveling with just your luggage and other self-sufficient adults. Dogs require regular feeding and you can't leave them in the hot car lest they die of heat exhaustion. As a result, Tally is my nearly constant companion. Fortunately, she's a pretty good dog. She gets to continue traveling with us.

In Boise we stayed at a nondescript hotel...which was right on the river! Boise has done a GREAT job creating a green space along the Boise river. There is a path for miles along both sides of the river and regular picnic tables along the way. Tally and I had several nice walks and we also spent some happy time at a picnic table working on our journals. [That is, Susan and I worked on our journals. To date, Tally has not started a journal ;)]

In Salt Lake City we are staying at the excellent Hotel Monaco because they are very pet-friendly and the downtown location is convenient. But poor Salt Lake City...it must be the least pedestrian-friendly city in America. It all goes back to the founding of the city. Legend has it that Brigham Young wanted streets wide enough to perform a u-turn easily with a horse and cart. As a result the streets are R-E-A-L-L-Y W--I--D--E. Truly, they are not on a human scale. The pedestrian signals have timers on them to let you know how much time you have left to get across. Hurry!!! Just 17 seconds left. Run!!

Yesterday, I took one of the crummiest walks I've EVER taken anywhere. It all started because I wanted to visit the International Peace Gardens in Jordan Park. It is just 8 blocks south and 9 blocks west. That is 2.55 miles in SLC-scale. What I didn't realize is that you can't get there from here. In between are multiple freeways and industrial sites. The bellman suggested an impassable route so on the way home I took a different way. Tally and I hit multiple dead ends...in concrete companies and collision repair areas. You can see downtown but you can't reach downtown.

In the end we finally scrambled up the side of a highway overpass to return to downtown. Hideous!!! Just a nasty, hot walk...much longer than the 5 miles I'd envisioned originally. Tally and I shared a scant bottle of water but she got the better deal because she went for a short swim in the Jordan River.

Fortunately, the evening was fabulous because we spent some time in Heber with a small and excellent fraction of my Smit clan.

I LOVE my family.

Road Trip!

2007-05-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

This morning we left Portland for a 10-day road trip to Toronto, Ontario. We're going to spend a few months living in Toronto as an experiment. Over time, I think it would be nice to be bi-coastal and international. Of course, that doesn't preclude an extended sojourn in Europe if we can work it out!

Before we left I managed to finish a journal for Susan for the trip. I was inspired by Cynthia Mooney. We took her 'Journaling Jumpstart' workshop last week and also got a good look at her nifty journal construction. I don't think I did it exactly the same way but I DID play with my Xyron which is one of my 101 in 1001 tasks. Yay. (It was ridiculously easy to use--can't believe I didn't use it before now.) Anyway, the journal is quite pleasing...I used vintage kimono fabric and some Pendleton wool for the spine.

I also glued in a copy of our route on the inside.

Uber-cute.

EEK! A spider...vein!

2007-05-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I finished up my last client work for a couple of months (I know, I'm lucky to have so much time off). Just before the session ended I saw a picture of Joss Stone and she had this glorious wild hair with pink and burgundy streaks. I thought, I'M going to do that because I'm not in front of clients for a while. My daughter and my hairdresser steered me in another direction and, because I don't want to appear ridiculous, I ended up with subtle lowlights. 'More age-appropriate', said daughter Lizzie.

A few days later I was scanning a Sephora catalogue and saw this cool reverse french manicure. When Janet and I went for a mani-pedi last week I picked out a great dark color and got the reverse French manicure with dark tips. 'Edgy.' said Janet, ever the supportive best friend. But all through dinner it just looked like I had mud under my nails. When I got home I covered it all with dark red.

So I've been thinking a lot about that phrase: age-appropriate. What, exactly, does that mean?

Getting older is not a problem. I love being my age and all that comes with it, including spider veins (I was never really a wearer of mini-skirts anyway). I'm definitely not trying to hang onto a younger image. But I DO want to be my most whimsical and adventurous self. And part of that fun includes costuming and playing with hair color. Jackie O, as much as I admire her elegance, is not my role model. I'm not that classy. I want to be silly and playful.

So, today I visit my hairdresser again and I'm going to take a chance with the hair color. I'm thinking....burgundy lowlights....definitely in the pinkish range.

Life at Full Throttle

2007-04-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Harley-Davidson announced their first quarter results last week and, due to a strike, the results were down in the United States. However, first quarter retail sales increased 25.7 percent in Europe. Overall, the brand is steady in the States and growing internationally. Well, here's what I want to say to all those leather-clad, noisy, hyper-charged, pipes-open HOGs:

I get it.

Last week when I was visiting Ray and Eva in Germany I had the privilege of a motorcycle ride through the Bavarian countryside. Ray supplied me with a helmet and the requisite leathers, including a panel to protect the spine, and I climbed on the back. I trust my brother and he promised not scare me. I was a little nervous (it's a big bike!) but once we were on the road I LOVED it. Traveling on the back of a Harley is completely exhilarating.

Plus, I felt completely sexy and bad-to-the-bone in the leathers. Look at me! I'm a biker babe!

I'm not quite ready to plunk down 25K for my own bike but I DO look forward to my next ride.

B-b-b-b-bad....bad to the bone.....

happy birthday!

2007-04-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today I am another year older. I celebrate my birthday in Bavaria with my brother, Ray, who had a major birthday three days ago. Here we are at the big party bash.

There was a time when I hadn't seen Ray for over ten years and saw brother Roger only slightly more often. When we lost our little sister I vowed never to let that much time pass again between visits. And we haven't. I saw Roger & Rachel in March and Ray & Eva this week. As the years pass, family looms ever-larger in importance.

Profound thoughts ar simmering as I contemplate aging. Mostly, I am happy and grateful for the happiness I enjoy right now. I'm a lucky, lucky woman.

Happy Spring Equinox!

2007-03-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

Yahoo!!!! It's spring!!!!

I went away last week and when I opened my eyes Saturday morning everything was in bloom. Oregon is particularly pretty this time of year. Our little plum tree is showy and all the daffodils are in bloom.

And for those who appreciate world religions, here's a little chuckle from The Onion: "Area Pagan Dreading Big Vernal Equinox Celebration"

(thanks for the laugh, Janet!)

Flairmeisters

2007-03-21T15:23:00.000-07:00

I attended Pepperdine University for an MS in Organization Development from 1993 to 1995. Our learning group was completely wonderful. We vowed to 'err with flair' and 'lead with our weaknesses'. When we formed we did an analysis that revealed the team's synergy: our combined weaknesses were greater than the sum of our weaknesses. Remember, this was a learning community and we were there to be authentic and give/receive feedback. Parts of the program were painful but after two years we all made it with a degree and an emotional intimacy rarely equaled in my life.

Over the years our lives took us in different directions and we didn't always keep in close touch. Happily, I saw two of our members recently while in Phoenix. Here I am with Annie and Eileen. They've stayed in close contact so I could find both of them again. Pablo is in California and Susan and I are in Portland. I'm glad not to have lost these wonderful people and vow to see them again soon.

With complete authenticity I can say, "I love you guys."

Happy Birthday Roger J

2007-03-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

Today is the birthday of my younger brother, Roger.

Happy birthday broertje!

Here we are together with my lovely sister-in-law, Roger's wife, Rachel. I was able to visit last weekend before I did some work in their neck of the woods. We had an absolutely lovely day at the Augusta Canal...which doesn't sound that cool. But it was! The visit included a fine little museum and an hour-long boat ride on the canal. The weather was perfect and we had a swell day.

As the years go by family is increasingly important. I feel lucky that we were able to see each other. And even better that both my brothers are such fine men.

Knit Knack

2007-01-28T08:47:00.000-08:00

One of my 101 goals is to FINISH two knitting projects. Well, I'm halfway there with the completion of this red scarf.

The astute viewer will note that it's made with really thick yarn on really big needles. Yes, it's true. But I needed to finish it on time to send to the Orphan Foundation of America. They sponsor a really cool Red Scarf Project for college-bound orphans for whom "Your scarf may be the first handmade gift a young man or woman has ever received." Who could resist that?!

Shanghai Diary 4

2007-01-23T00:42:00.000-08:00

On my last big sightseeing day in Shanghai I took my first organized tour. There was only one other person on the trip, Deborah from Miami, who had the attention span of a toddler watching Sesame Street. She parachutes into a new country every month for a few days and rapidly ticks off the major sights. She goes to really interesting countries (Tunisia, South Africa and Morocco) and stays in the Ritz-Carlton or a comparable hotel. I was yearning to know how she financed all this but minded my manners. Let's just say that with her long blonde hair and floor length fur coat she allowed me my first inconspicuous day. We visited a canal town called Zhu Jiajiao and the tour included a short boat trip. This is the group watching her as we left the dock.

Our boatwoman was a local who, for a few yuan, sang a traditional song. Very cool. Deborah mentioned that she preferred silence and asked how long the boat trip would be--she was done with it halfway through the ride. Nor did she want any free time to explore the town. Fascinating. Such a different style of traveling. I wondered what drove her to travel so much when she seemed to savor it so little.

Back in the city I finished the day with a shampoo and style. I'd been advised to do this but had no idea how GREAT it would be. First, the young woman brought me warm water to sip and set a shampoo dispenser and squirt bottle of water on her table. She started with a dollop of shampoo and proceeded to lather up my hair a little at a time with the squirt bottle as I sat in the chair. But I didn't just get a shampoo--no, I got a lengthy scalp massage. Then we went upstairs to the rinsing station--similar to shampoo bowls in the States but with little headrests so there is no strain on the neck. After a nice rinse she wrapped my head in a towel (with my ears out--I looked like a Smurfette). Then back downstairs where she cleaned my ears with a Q-Tip (a very weird experience). Then more massage...on my shoulders, my arms and my back. Ahhhh. Then it was time for the blow-dry. The young men do that. My stylist looked like a Shanghai version of Johnny Depp and several of the boys were intrigued by my hair taking an easy ringlet. He made ringlets layer by layer which worried me for a little while, but then he got out the hair gel and mussed it. I'd been primped and pampered for an hour and it cost 25 yuan. About 3 dollars.

I wonder if I can find a Chinese stylist in Portland?

Shanghai Diary 3

2007-01-21T15:57:00.000-08:00

It had to happen. We shopped.

But first we fortified ourselves with a little lunch at a nearby restaurant. We were the only westerners there and felt scrutinized the entire time. Perhaps we ordered oddly. At any rate the potstickers were yummy, the soup incredible (dare I say 'nourishing'?) and the jasmine tea is so fragrant. It's often served in clear pots so that we can see the flower. Then it was on to Nanjing Road.

We visited Pearls City where I was very modest in my purchases. I actually get overwhelmed by all the possibilities.

We visited Silk King where the accountant tallied up our purchases on an abacus before she ran the AmEx card. By then we were through with the shopping. It doesn't take long to reach saturation because we are so obviously good prospects. With every step on the street people are shoving cards in your face..'Hello? Purse? DVD? Very good price. Just look'. They are very persistent. Unfortunately, there is no way for us to mask our foreignness. Clearly, I am a tall, white person with lots of money to spend (comparatively speaking). I do want to give Shanghai my tourist dollars but I find it must be done in small doses. The crush of the crowds and the constant barrage makes me want to run back to the sanctuary of the hotel.

The service is so amazing here. I particularly appreciate the attention to detail. In the restaurant we had our coats and bags on the extra chairs beside us and a waiter laid a piece of fabric over everything lest it get mussed. We had some laundry done and it came back in this charming basket, covered with cloth. We opened the laundry gift and, at the top of the package, found our socks grouped together by color and tied with a ribbon.

I definitely need to start doing that when I get back to Oregon.

Shanghai Diary 2

2007-01-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

Today's walking tour took us to the famous 'Bund' in Shanghai. It is the area along the riverfront of the Huangpu River. The guidebooks rave about how jolly it is to spend time here but I think they mean in the summer. We wandered in the park and found a lot of closed ice cream shops. However, on the other side of the main road is the former 'Wall Street of the East. This is a series of buildings that held the financial institutions of the colonial era before Communism came into power. Our favorite stop was the former Hong Kong bank. The ceiling is decorated with stunning mosaics worthy of a Byzantine cathedral. The largest panels show the eight banking centers of the world and above those are depictions of the 12 Zodiac signs. Brilliant! They were plastered over in the 1950's and only recently restored by the Pudong Development Bank. We couldn't take pictures but here is a shot of a postcard I found on the web.

I love seeing famous sites when I travel. But I get a real kick out of doing normal things in new places...like replacing my reading glasses that I lost while fussing with multiple lenses and lens caps walking around the old city. Here I am getting my eyes examined. The gals who helped me couldn't have been nicer. And now I have new glasses and a cool case with Chinese writing inside.

Shanghai Diary 1

2007-01-18T17:34:00.000-08:00

Shanghai is China's most sophisticated city--the 'Paris of the East'. It is an understatement to say that it is a study in contrasts. Many old neighborhoods have been replaced by skyscrapers. Where they still exist the tall buildings loom in the background. Yesterday we spent five hours wandering the old city.

The day was unusually vivid. We saw many darling little ones bundled against the cold.

We wandered the market streets.

And we visited several temples. At one temple we were privileged to hear the monks singing and playing instruments for a ceremony.

The only drawback is the schmutz in the air. This was taken at 3 in the afternoon shooting directly into the sun. The haze is ever present. I worry about all the residents taking it into their lungs. Many people on the street wear masks.

Still, I am thrilled to be here. This is off season for tourists so we are oftern the only westerners in sight. The city is gloriously different and I am having a great time. Lucky me!

Hello Two Thousand and Heaven

2007-01-17T16:15:00.000-08:00

My new year began with a warm smile.

We were in Mexico at a retreat site 45 miles outside Guadalajara. We came for a gentle time after a very challenging year in 2006. Our fellow spa-goers included alternative health practitioners, educators on school break and alumni of Rio Caliente. Then there were a few tired newcomers in recuperation mode (like us). Almost to a person they are completely lovely people and we will continue to stay in touch with a few of them.

For seven days we dined simply on vegetarian meals...simple, fresh and tasty. Who misses meat? Who misses wine? Who misses TV? Not me! We hiked some mornings to the hot waterfall. Other mornings we just soaked in the pool fed from the mineral waters that flow into Rio Caliente. A few times we took yoga or water aerobics (innately funny). Most days we had some kind of bodywork--a massage, a facial or a mud wrap. OK, not really a mud wrap--more of a mud slather followed by a rest on a lawn chair to bake in the sun like human adobe. Amusing.

Over the week we relaxed more deeply as the stress of the year fell away. One fellow retreater, noting that a lot of people had a challenging year in 2006 quoted, "Good-bye Two Thousand Sucks. Hello Two Thousand Heaven."

I am filled with optimism for the year.

It's going to be a GREAT year.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2007!

2006-12-25T09:58:00.000-08:00

This is the cozy scene that greets me most mornings of late. The house is warm and glowing while we wait for the winter sun to rise.

This morning we celebrate Christmas together. Matt is staying with us and Lizzie and Jason will arrive soon. We'll have a Dutch-style breakfast with delicious meats from Edelweiss Sausage Co & Delicatessen (yhum!). Then the kids will head off for the wonderful celebration with their Dad's family and we'll have a quiet day...getting ready for...MEXICO!!

Yup, we're heading off to Rio Caliente for a spa retreat in the sun. We're going to soak in natural hot springs and hike and take yoga classes and relax. Fabulous. It's a great way to close out a challenging year and begin planning a happy and healthy 2007. We are filled with optimism for the new year. Life IS good.

I wish you happiness and joyful times in the year to come.

Clompen

2006-12-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

Mom and Dad were from The Netherlands and I am inordinately proud of my Dutch heritage. I have been fortunate to be able to spend time with Dad and his family in Groningen and to grow up with all my wonderful Tantes (aunts) and Ooms (uncles) and cousins in Salt Lake City. As my father always enjoyed saying, "If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much."

This week Matt and I visited the Dutch store in Portland to buy some holiday treats. Imagine my excitement when I saw these wonderful slippers--and just in my size!! They are done in the style of 'clompen' or the famous wooden shoes that my father actually did wear on the farm when he was young. [An interesting side note: a few years ago the Dutch version of OSHA approved clompen as a substitute for steel-toed boots for work on dairy farms...sometimes the old ways are best!]

I hope that you are enjoying a wonderful holiday season. And that you have at least one tradition from your heritage that you can still celebrate.

Vrolijk Kerstfeest! Merry Christmas Everyone!

Stillness

2006-12-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

This is a hectic time of year for most of us most of the time. Students are finishing up assignments and taking finals. Matriarchs are working to produce a great holiday experience for everyone while keeping up with the job and coping with traffic and short, dark days.

For me, it's been very different this year. Because I'm still recuperating and tired I've had to curtail my activities. And that's been really lovely. The most I can do each day is one to two errands or outings. The tree is up but not really decorated. I've managed to do most of my shopping online. Every day I take a nap. Consequently I've enjoyed the stillness of this time of year in a way that I haven't before.

Thursday night we had a group of friends over for an early Solstice celebration. Just as we'd gotten the candles lit the raging Pacific storm triumphed and we lost power. Suddenly we were in silence and candlelight. Outside was quiet and dark. Inside we were hushed, simply appreciating this enhancement of the solstice experience.

I hope that you can take a little quiet time over the next week and savor the stillness.

What are the Odds?

2006-11-14T06:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I flew into Charlotte, NC. for a week of client work.

To fly anywhere from Portland usually requires two flights so I had two seat mates. We never exchanged a word but, of course, we shared a small area of space. And--this is the mysterious part--BOTH of them were studying flying manuals. What are the odds? The first had a brown text and Cessna instructions and the second had a newer textbook about instrument panels with illustrations like this:

I'm not a Nosy Nellie but when you're in that kind of proximity you get curious about what people are reading. I glanced over and thought, 'how could anyone retain that kid of information?!'

Thankfully, they do.

And, thanks to pilots everywhere who retain that kind of information, I landed safely and flying remains one of our safest forms of transportation.

Hard to Understand

2006-11-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

Life is short and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us. So be quick to love and make haste to be kind.

Henri Ariel

My cousin Peter buried his son today.

Nicolas James Smit was only sixteen years old. He was a fine young man. Who knew what he would become? Now, we will never know.

On Sunday it will be 17 years since my sister Linda was killed suddenly. So many years later, we still struggle with the loss.

I know elderly people who are more than ready to leave this world and rest. And, at the same time, beautiful young people are taken from our world far too early.

It makes no sense.

The only lesson I've been able to make of the losses is to keep living for their sake. Honor them by being better than you are and living a full and worthwhile life. I feel a great obligation to live large because my mother and my sister weren't able to.

Above all, stay current and love one another--say it often.

Finally, I like to think that this is true:

"We do not believe that death is final. You still have a relationship with people even after they die."

- Diana Ruiz, speaking of Dias de los Muertos, Oregonian

What ARE They Building?

2006-11-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

I've been living on Humboldt Street near Interstate Avenue since 1995. Over the years the neighborhood has been through a lot of change. The Max (light rail) came in. Young families and gay couples have been moving into the area and upgrading old properties. It's been a good time to live in what a realtor told me was a 'transitional neighborhood'.

Imagine our excitement when construction began on the former lot of an abandoned gas station. What are they building?! This week, we think it become clear.

What do you think?

Apparently, some market survey suggested that our North Portland neighborhood was under served by automobile lubrication services. Yup, looks like we're getting some kind of fast lube place.

Dang. I was hoping for a Stumptown coffe joint. Sigh.

Exercise Your Right!

2006-11-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

I just voted.

In Oregon we vote by mail so I could take my time and do some research before filling in the little ovals. I thought that the Oregonian had a decent and succinct voter's resource for understanding the issues.

I lean to the left so I believe that it's vital to raise our voices now. The ballot box is one place. But regardless of how you vote (even if you disagree with me!) VOTE!!

Many who have gone before us worked hard to gain us the privilege and I will not succumb to the perspective that it is a futile act. I have to believe it matters.

That's all.

Brunch with the Cousins

2006-10-30T13:13:00.000-08:00

Here's an update on Baby Isaac, son of Cousin Collette and Steven. He's GORGEOUS! We had brunch with them over the weekend (thank you!) and got to see how quickly he's growing. He was born on June 13th so he's 4 1/2 months old now. Here he is, in Daddy's lap slowly winding down for a nap.

Cousin Karena is visiting from Salt Lake to spend Halloween with Isaac. They're all dressing as Winnie the Pooh characters. We're all getting in the Halloween spirit--notice Susan's pumpkin troll earrings.

Meanwhile, my great-nephew Lucas, born on the same day, is thriving in Japan. He's ADORABLE and he is modeling! Yup, watch for Lucas in the Japanese Sears catalogue (Kelly--send us a picture when it's published!).

Sweet babies. What a treat to have them in our lives.

Travel Tip: Boston

2006-10-30T11:47:00.000-08:00

We're just back from a grueling marathon of coaching and teaching in Boston. Whew! We did, however, need to fly in a day early to make the faculty meeting and, so, had a half day of unscheduled time in Boston. At Matt's (my son the architecture student) recommendation we visited the Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge. I don't normally put cemeteries at the top of my travel priorities but Matt was right. It was worth a visit.

We began with lunch at the Grafton Street Grill near Harvard Square. As we were leaving we noticed this eye-catching individual. Apparently, this nun, who listens to an IPod and drinks wine is a regular. She's having more fun than did my grade school nuns!

The afternoon was perfect and we had such a peaceful afternoon walking around the cemetary. Mt. Auburn is not just any cemetary. It was inspired by Pere Lachaise in Paris and is notable for being the 'first large-scale designed landscape open to the public' in the United States. Autumn may be the best time to visit because the trees were spectacular. The cemetery is filled with 175 years of grave markers, including this poignant angel. There is a sizable Sphinx that commemorates the Civil War. And there is a tower honoring George Washington that offers a 360-degree view of Boston and the surroundings. If you're going to Boston put Mt Auburn on your list!

Yin Yang

2006-10-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

Some days I feel like this.

All is calm and under control.

I have time to do whatever I need. I journal daily, the house is tidy and I am on top of my To Do list.

It is a rare and wonderful state.

Then there are days like this. I am constantly behind and racing from one thing to the next.

I'm back from Las Vegas, I was in school all day Saturday, and Sunday morning I leave for Boston for a week of work. School! Travel! Work! As a friend of mine once said, "I'm behind in my life!".

Still, it's good to be back in the game again.

And these images, which I created for my Color Theory class, turned out nicely. My teacher asked to keep them which is quite a compliment.

I Love Paris...

2006-10-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

...and Venice and Monte Carlo and New York. Yes, I've been to all those places just this week--in Las Vegas!

My Lizzie and I did a quick trip to Las Vegas to have some fun together. A good time was had by all. We saw Jubilee, a classic Las Vegas show. We played multiple nickel slots--Wheel of Fortune, Party Game, Lobstermania and a few more. We drank vodka and ate steak tartare at the Red Square restaurant. Dah! We enjoyed steak frites at Mon Ami Gabi in Paris. What delights! And we walked and walked and walked. Lizzie wanted to see everything!

And, Ray, we saw the Harley Cafe and thought of you and Eva biking in Bavaria.

I know that there are many who think Las Vegas is low class and tacky. But I think it's BIG FUN. I want to go again within the year.

Whee!

Duct Work

2006-10-09T17:24:00.000-07:00

The list to the right of this website is part of a fascinating trend on the internet. If you Google '101 in 1001' you will find hundreds of links to the lists of other people. I was intrigued when I first heard about it and had a lots of fun compiling my list. I tried to set goals that were out of my ordinary routine and had a stretch component. The discerning reader will also note that there are only 97 goals so far. I'm saving a few slots for new ideas. Oddly, it's quite motivating. Here are two recently accomplished goals:

Art & Soul
I taught a class on the wonders of duct tape at this annual art retreat . By day I am a corporate leadership development consultant and I do not aspire to teach art workshops. But the opportunity arose and I decided 'What the heck? It'll be fun'. And it was. Best of all my daughter Lizzie joined me as the real expert. Here are a few of the models I created for the class: a simple cover for the participant booklet and a case for my little laptop. Truly--duct tape is super cool!

Joseph, Oregon
Susan's best friend, Scotty, came out from Toronto and we took a rural road trip through the Columbia Gorge and Joseph. Oh my, Oregon is soooo beautiful. On the first afternoon we drove from The Dalles south to Maupin, on the Deschutes River. It was late afternoon and acres of wheat fields were in deep shadows on softly curving hills. We had such a good week. Scotty is a blast and very talented. Best of all she gave us two pastels she did, including this one of the Zig Zag River on Mt. Hood. We actually saw large salmon swimming upriver. Amazing sight!

Meanwhile, a new term has begin at the Art Institute. This term I'm learning all about Color Theory, Storyboarding and Image Manipulation. Wheee!

Garden Update

2006-10-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

In June I wrote about our little front yard garden. This is what it looked like then. The frames were ready and the plants were pushing up through the earth. Our job was to water the garden and the Back Yard Farmers did all the planting, maintainance and harvesting. Bourgeois? Un peu, but this is the only way we would garden at this point in our lives.

Well, our little garden has been very happy and this is what it looks like now!

The frames are overloaded with beans and peppers. The tomato stakes fall down in the wind becasue they are supporting so much weight. We have had more eggplant, tomatoes and lettuce than we can eat. And, best of all, we have pumpkins for pie on Thanksgiving.

Mother Nature is amazing.

Recipe for Restoration

2006-09-04T14:25:00.000-07:00

I've been back from our vacation on the lake for a week now and I feel like a new woman. My six days at Lot IV were so restorative and I've been considering why it was so energizing.

These, I think, are the key ingredients:

Being Away. Sure you can relax at home but there's always something you ought to be doing. Going somewhere away from home means you won't have chores, work or homework occupying your psychic space.

Nature. Escaping concrete and cars is so refreshing. Being on water or near water is even better. At Lot IV we had the four elements...water, fire, air and earth. Mother Nature has enormous power to soothe.

Excellent Company. We were lucky to spend this open time with some very special friends. We listened to one another's difficulties and progess with generosity and love. We laughed and drank more wine than is healthy. We played games (I highly recommend Take Two, Ticket to Ride and Triple Solitaire!).

Exquisite Food. We bought fresh-picked corn on the way to the cottage. So did V & E. Just call us Corn Dollies. We made simple and extravagant fresh meals and dined like queens. We took turns cooking and cleaning up. We savored the season.

Naps. Every day. Such luxury.

So that's my recipe for restoration. I am ready to go Back to School. Thank you Scotty, Elizabeth, Valerie and Jane for helping us turn the corner.

Waning Summer

2006-08-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

Every moment is enormous, and it is all we have.
-Natalie Goldberg, Long Quiet Highway

In the past week I've talked with several friends who are feeling melancholy. I share the feeling and wonder if we aren't feeling the effects of the waning summer. It is nearly the end of August. The days are noticably shorter. Do I still have time to accomplish all the things I had planned for this summer? The answer is, "No." It's too late for putting up pickles because the baby cukes are already gone. The big summer BBQ was just a little overwhelming to pull off. And it's just too darn hot to finish the projects around the house and garden. I feel like I should have gotten more done this summer.

And then I remember that across Europe people are taking weeks off for vacation. My own cousin in the Netherlands is in Malta for four weeks with her family. August is the traditional time to put aside work and just relax. Can that be OK? I want it to be.

As I walked in the heat this week I reminded myself that in November I'm going to be missing the sunshine and laziness-inducing heat. So, I surrender. I'm going away this week to spend six days with a few very special friends at a lakeside cottage north of Toronto. I'm not bringing my computer or my planner. I'm going to savor these last days of summer and be fully and joyfully lethargic. I'm not going to think about what I should have done with 2006 to date. I'm not going to make lots of To Do lists. I'm going check in with myself. I'm going to read mysteries and sleep and be fully present in this glorious end of summer.

And when I get back I'm going to spend as much time as possible outside in the company of loved ones. The weeds will be there later. There is no urgency to the curtains for the upstairs windows. But there is some urgency to the sun. He will soon be spending more time on the other side of the planet.

Here's to August and squeezing the last juice out of this summer.

Order

2006-08-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

One of my FAVORITE possessions is my library card catalogue. I was very fortunate to obtain it and it's a beautiful relic of the past. Remember going to library and thumbing through the drawers to find just the right book? Everything was so nicely organized and I could find all the books written by Alice Turner Curtis. When I was in junior high I thought I might become a librarian because I loved reading and books so very much. The card catalogue reminds me of happy times with the written word in my imagination.

Alas, I am not a person who is good at following a system nor creating order. Structure, as much as I need it, eludes me. I admire it in others but I cannot achieve it for myself. On my bookshelf are myriad books written by organized people (Tame the Office Tiger, Organizing from the Inside Out, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, and so on). Order is the holy grail for me.

My card catalogue is the one brilliant monument to order in my life. Each drawer is specifically marked with the contents. This one holds red and orange beads for my jewelry making efforts. This one holds spools of book binding threads. That one holds stamp pads. I cannot tell you how pleasing it is for me to seek AND find when I am ready to work on something.

Now if I could just achieve something similar with the surface of my desk....

Art School Confidence

2006-08-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we saw Art School Confidential. Jeff, my excellent former husband urged us to see it and said, obliquely, that 'You're in it--just go see it."

The film is an amusing send-up of cliched art school students: Hippie Chick, Punk Girl, Kiss-Ass, Angry Lesbian and Mom. Mom is at Art School now that the kids are off to college and she has some time for herself again. Zing!

You see, I started Art School this summer. In January I'd started down the path of a PhD with a program called Expressive Arts for Healing and Change. It's a GREAT program. Carl Rogers' daughter, Natalie Rogers leads it. But, as we approached the second session I realized that I didn't want to facilitate the creative process as much as I wanted to pursue my own creative process. I researched the Art Institute of Portland and within 10 days I was taking a beginning drawing course and 'Principles of Visual Communication'.

It turns out that I can draw a little. It turns out that anyone can draw. You just have to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and really see. Here's an early drawing of our ceiling fixture and a pen and ink of my neighbor's house. I really LIKE drawing!

I'm pursuing a BFA in Digital Media Production. And, I have to say, it feels really great to be in school again and to be out of my comfort zone. The average student age is 22 years old (!) so I am 'Mom'. But they're nice to me and I'm having a blast.

Look for me in a few years at the Sundance Festival or the Academy Shorts. ;)

Pearl the Pig

2006-07-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

One thing I did well as a mother was reading aloud to Matt and Lizzie. I may have been a sketchy parent in some areas but I was a consistent and happy reader of good children's literature. The Read Aloud Handbook was my reference. And one of our favorite books was The Amazing Bone by R.L. Stein. It is deliciously dark and scary in some sections (which I always thought was weird in a children's book) and the kids loved Stein's stuff.

In The Amazing Bone we meet Pearl the Pig, contentedly walking through the woods. She notices all the details of her surroundings and sighs, "I love the world". She goes on to have adventures (don't worry--the amazing bone and her own ingenuity get her out of trouble) but I have never forgotten Pearl's peaceful delight in her surroundings.

I had a 'Pearl-walk' myself recently.

Near our home in Portland there is a beautiful old park with extensive rose gardens and a large fountain. The walk to the park takes me through old streets and gardens...nothing spectacular, just simple yards with happy flowers and shrubbery. Near sunset, the Golden Hour, the light is exquisite.

I, too, sighed and said, "I love the world."

Mirth Makers Unite!

2006-07-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

On my list of 101 goals in 1001 days (see right) I have the goal of writing a Mirthmakers Handbook. It's a project I've been thinking about for a number of years. Here's the introduction I wrote recently:

I met my best friend Janet 23 years ago when our boys were in the aerobic day-care together. Our three-year-olds liked each other so we began hanging around with them. After aerobics class we’d take the boys to Winchell’s for donuts and Janet would enjoy a post-workout Merit cigarette.

We had many things in common, including the fact that we wanted to be taken seriously. We’d both pulled excellent grades and had academic experiences of being the smartie in the classroom. Janet had been to Berkeley, dammit and we were both well-read. We were intelligent—wasn’t it obvious?

But we weren’t taken seriously. Instead we were well-liked. Friends would comment on the talents of our husbands; 'He is sooo smart!’ and 'He is soooo creative and talented’. Compliments to us were along the lines of ‘You’re so fun!’ As if we never had a deep thought or serious emotion. Janet, especially, had the knack of attracting NBFs (new best friends). ‘You’re so fun—let’s have coffee!’ Somehow, she was not perceived as the intelligent and discerning person that she has always been.

Janet and I are both in our 50’s now. We still attract NBFs and people still tell us how ‘fun’ we are. The difference is that we now appreciate the compliment. You see, over the years we’ve realized that to be called ‘fun’ is a compliment of the highest order. Our own children think we’re ‘fun like a party’ and aspire to the same joie de vivre. [photo by my talented daughter, Lizzie]

In the ensuing decades since Janet and I met, we’ve come to appreciate the need for levity and spending time in community. Some years ago we developed a term for our ability. We called it ‘Mirth Making’. We liked the slightly arcane sound of the word because it harkens back to a time when families and communities made mirth as a regular part of their life. The word 'mirth' comes from a time when people still believed in magic.

What is it? Mirth Making is shared merriment. It is, fundamentally, a collective experience—we make mirth together. A dictionary defines mirth this way: gladness or gaiety as shown by or accompanied with laughter. A thesaurus is even better: a mood characterized by high spirits and amusement and often accompanied by laughter. Mirth is the essence of my favorite experiences.

From time to time I'm going to be writing about mirth making and celebrating it. If you are a mirthmaker (and you know who you are!) please send me your thoughts!

Stunning Oregon

2006-07-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Over the last week I've had the opportunity to travel around Oregon a fair bit. Dear friends from Toronto came to visit and we spent a few days on the Oregon coast with them. We stayed at the Astoria Inn for a few days and, of course, went up to the Astoria Column where we got a 360-degree view of the area. We then drove to Yachats and the excellent Shamrock Lodgettes. We ate good seafood all along the way and enjoyed spectacular weather. I was amazed, again, at the beauty of Oregon.

In the middle of the trip I popped back to Portland to meet up with Janet, Lee and Beth to visit the Oregon Country Fair. This has long been on my list and I FINALLY got there.

The Country Fair has a juicy reputation but I think it's calmed down a lot over its 36 year history. Alcohol is no longer allowed and most of us were clad in Northwest Suburban attire...not half-naked. Still there were the occasional painted breasts (lovely) and loincloths (generally a mistake). And we often enjoyed the sweet smell of cannabis as we wandered. Best of all, the Fair retains a spirit of gentle goodwill and happiness. It's a cross between sustainability and self-expression. I felt like I was with my people.

Most charming were all the natural structures tucked into the woods. The setting is truly magical and I felt like I'd visted another time and place. I can't wait to go back next year...with, perhaps some temporary henna tattoos from Sweet Annie, um, on my back.

The Three GRs

2006-06-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was Father’s Day and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my dear sweet Dad. He died in May of 2003 but his example continues to provide me with life lessons.

Dad was a remarkable man. At times was challenging to live up to his standards. But as I grew older I came to appreciate Dad's consistency and how he lived by his values. I know that his grandchildren greatly admire ‘Opa’s’ character and see him as a strong role model. Since he died, I have a new question that I ask myself in difficult situations: "What would Arnold do?"

Dad lived by the three GRs: Grit, Grace and Gratitude.

He had temendous loss in his life. To lose three wives to cancer is nearly unbelievable. To lose his youngest daughter so suddenly and needlessly was more than any parent should have to bear. Yet, each time he said to me "Margaret, we have to go on." And he did. He went on--without regrets, without complaint and with his faith intact. He had his formative years during the German occupation of Northern Netherlands and he and his siblings are tough people. Grit.

He might have become bitter over his hard life but he never did. With each loss he became softer, more loving and more considerate. The most common descriptor people use when talking about Dad is the word “gentleman”. He lived with modesty and Grace.

Above all he was Grateful. He always felt that he was a very lucky man. He thanked us for each phone call, for each attention. He was a completely generous man and appreciated the kindness of others.

As I age I try to live by the The GRs. Most of the time I lapse into the Three Ws: Wimpy, Wasteful and Whiny. But when I remember Dad, I remember to be my better self.

Here’s to Arnold—I was lucky to call him Dad.

Happy Days

2006-06-16T15:19:00.000-07:00

"The happiest days are when babies come."
- Melanie, Gone With the Wind

These are happy days for my family.

On Tuesday, June 13th, my beautiful niece, Kelly and her husband, James, became the proud parents of a baby boy. He came in at a sensible 7 pounds 15 ounces and, unlike most Smit/Kolkena babies, he has a nice head of dark hair. I wish I could visit them tonight but they live in Tokyo, Japan.

On the SAME day, on the other side of the world in Portland, Oregon, my beautiful cousin, Collette, and her husband, Steven, became the happy parents of Isaac Grant Luttmer. He looks like his Opa (Dutch for 'Grandpa) and weighed 9 pounds 5 ounces. Big boy!

It is really wonderful to be part of such a large family. My mother came from a family of eleven children and they all had three to eight children. That's a LOT of first cousins for me!! And I'm so happy that Collette and I live in the same town. Susan and I are at the top of the babytending list. We can hardly wait.

And, my oh my, but it was good to hold a baby. Here I am with Isaac in my arms. It's been a very long time since I held a newborn. My dear Lizzie is going to be 24 next month!!

But let us, for a moment, ponder the miracle of life. Babies can remind us of what is truly important. Let us honor these happy parents and wish them everything well.

Welcome Lucas.

Welcome Isaac.

50/50

2006-04-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

On April 15th I turned the respectable age of 50 years old. Of course, as any American citizen over age 50 knows, it is now my opportunity to join the ranks of AARP. A week before my big day this envelope arrived in the mail.

So what does this signify? Am I retired? Hardly. Yet, I'm invited to join the American Association for Retired Persons. Is it a nefarious political movement? Perhaps. If I were 25 years old I'd worry about the legislation that AARP supports because it probably means that you'll be supporting us more fully as we move into our sunset years. Do I get discounts? Bingo! That's a reason to join AARP. The Regal Cinemas won't be giving me the movie discount for a few more years but my AARP membership will get me a discount on long-term care insurance and other things that older persons think about. SIgh. I'm an older person.

But all month-long friends have been telling me that 50 is the new 30! How can I be a member of AARP?!

I think I'll tuck this in the very back corner of my purse.